This morning I found my trousers uwearable because the zip caught and would not come undone. I swore, changed my clothes, and headed out for the day. I returned to find this note taped to the crotch of the aforementioned trousers :
How dare you pile such unspeakable insults on this here voiceless zip! Has it not given its self wholly into your ungrateful service? Has it not plied its unlubricated trade tirelessly up and down thy vile crotch? Has it not ever endeavoured to provide complete and utter fulfilment without ever so much as catching onto one solitary pubic hair lest it unwittingly hurt you by doing so?
Be it upon thy head, young man, that you have caused unwarranted grief to a poor, defenseless zip, and pray that this act does not bring down upon thee wrath of the zip gods! Beseech the lords that they do not unleash upon thee that pent up fury in the form of The Fly Catcher - one that will wait until you have run out of underpants and forgotten to do thy laundry, and then spring upon thee to bite thee in thy witless balls!
No comments:
Post a Comment