Time for some reminiscing. It has 3 and half months since my life was turned upside down by a girl. I've never been in love before - never even liked a girl so much that I could confuse that with love. Nothing. Ever.
And then she comes along.
June 7 : We meet, and talk all night. It's not love at first sight, but there was interest. And curiosity.
June 10 : We have spent the last 3 days texting each other non-stop. We talk as though we have been talking all our lives. There is a deep sense of familiarity and belonging. We meet again. Barriers are broken, and we find something unexpected. Mutual affection. Mutual respect. A surprisingly deep bond. A kiss.
June 11 : We make out. I am talked to by elders. Happily, they don't seem too perturbed by it all.
June 12 : We talk all night until 4AM on 13th morning. I tell her I love her, almost accidentally. She doesn't hear it because we get cut off. We talk some more, and I almost forget that I had said it to her. Then she says it. Spontaneously. I tell her I love her too.
June 22 : We meet again. Our first date. Again, that same sense of belonging. We are welcomed with open arms by her mother. We meet the next morning at the beach. Talk of sex continues unabated.
July 1 : We meet. We have sex. The weekend that convinced us that we had met the right person.
July 10 : More lies are told to parents. We meet. Spend her birthday together. I give her a gift. It is accepted with heartfelt gratitude.
July 11 : Much heartbreak at the thought that I am moving away, and we may not see each other for long months. Bittersweet moments are spent at a railway station with each trying to keep up a brave face so that the other person doesn't cry. I cry in the train on the way back.
July 14 : I leave from India. We talk on the phone. I hear her sing for the first time. I leave the country where my sweetheart lives.
Since then, we have been on the phone as much as we possibly can. The parents and my friends joke about how much we talk. Cell phone bills skyrocket until drastic measures must now be taken. We are happily in love, and are beginning to be more vocal about plans of marriage. Of a life together. Of kids.
We tell each other "I love you" and "I miss you" at least twice a day. Sometimes more. We really care for each other, and the deep sense of loss of not being able to be with the other person sometimes gets the better of both of us. We are uneasy. There are disconnects that would not happen if we had been together.
But, we love each other. The sense of empathy, love, and even gratitude are overwhelming. We see ourselves reflected in the other person, and we like what we see. I like who I have become since I met her. I like the fact that one of my best friends sent me an email today asking me when I was going to get married (so that he may plan his trip to India). I am closer to my other friends now since I have returned. I am working on both mind and body with equal gusto. I am planning for a future for us to be together. And I am learning how to give myself to another person - without question, without fear of judgement, without even realizing that you are giving.
I am deeply grateful that I have been able to experience such an incredible experience despite myself. I never really pursued the idea of love. I was a cynic, and always believed that love was for the birds. I believed that the closest I was going to get to it was that I would meet someone. Someone interesting, who met all the academic and superficial criteria that society has set for me. And I would learn to love her. Like my father. Like so many people I know of my age. That I would end up marrying a stranger. And live like a stranger in my own home.
But now, here I am. In love.
Funny, that.
And then she comes along.
June 7 : We meet, and talk all night. It's not love at first sight, but there was interest. And curiosity.
June 10 : We have spent the last 3 days texting each other non-stop. We talk as though we have been talking all our lives. There is a deep sense of familiarity and belonging. We meet again. Barriers are broken, and we find something unexpected. Mutual affection. Mutual respect. A surprisingly deep bond. A kiss.
June 11 : We make out. I am talked to by elders. Happily, they don't seem too perturbed by it all.
June 12 : We talk all night until 4AM on 13th morning. I tell her I love her, almost accidentally. She doesn't hear it because we get cut off. We talk some more, and I almost forget that I had said it to her. Then she says it. Spontaneously. I tell her I love her too.
June 22 : We meet again. Our first date. Again, that same sense of belonging. We are welcomed with open arms by her mother. We meet the next morning at the beach. Talk of sex continues unabated.
July 1 : We meet. We have sex. The weekend that convinced us that we had met the right person.
July 10 : More lies are told to parents. We meet. Spend her birthday together. I give her a gift. It is accepted with heartfelt gratitude.
July 11 : Much heartbreak at the thought that I am moving away, and we may not see each other for long months. Bittersweet moments are spent at a railway station with each trying to keep up a brave face so that the other person doesn't cry. I cry in the train on the way back.
July 14 : I leave from India. We talk on the phone. I hear her sing for the first time. I leave the country where my sweetheart lives.
Since then, we have been on the phone as much as we possibly can. The parents and my friends joke about how much we talk. Cell phone bills skyrocket until drastic measures must now be taken. We are happily in love, and are beginning to be more vocal about plans of marriage. Of a life together. Of kids.
We tell each other "I love you" and "I miss you" at least twice a day. Sometimes more. We really care for each other, and the deep sense of loss of not being able to be with the other person sometimes gets the better of both of us. We are uneasy. There are disconnects that would not happen if we had been together.
But, we love each other. The sense of empathy, love, and even gratitude are overwhelming. We see ourselves reflected in the other person, and we like what we see. I like who I have become since I met her. I like the fact that one of my best friends sent me an email today asking me when I was going to get married (so that he may plan his trip to India). I am closer to my other friends now since I have returned. I am working on both mind and body with equal gusto. I am planning for a future for us to be together. And I am learning how to give myself to another person - without question, without fear of judgement, without even realizing that you are giving.
I am deeply grateful that I have been able to experience such an incredible experience despite myself. I never really pursued the idea of love. I was a cynic, and always believed that love was for the birds. I believed that the closest I was going to get to it was that I would meet someone. Someone interesting, who met all the academic and superficial criteria that society has set for me. And I would learn to love her. Like my father. Like so many people I know of my age. That I would end up marrying a stranger. And live like a stranger in my own home.
But now, here I am. In love.
Funny, that.
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